OUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE 
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There is a roundabout but effective way to discover more about our emotional profile. We read up on some common emotional states—with pen and paper in hand—and write down anything that resonates with us. We also answer the questions that are posed along the way.

As we gather knowledge about how we relate to different emotions, a picture begins to emerge of who we are emotionally. The emotions we love to feel stand out to be seen, as well as those we struggle with. We may discover coping mechanisms that help us avoid feeling certain emotions or ways in which we hurt ourselves emotionally, but we are also likely to come across ideas of how we can support ourselves instead. 

WHO AM I EMOTIONALLY?

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With the gathered insights, we have actually taken the first step to the emotional freedom that is available to us, should we want it. New paths are open to us about how to proceed with this emotional self-knowledge. 

 

In the course of discovering elements of our emotional profile, it is only natural to also notice what we wish was different. When we make a wish list of these desired changes we are also creating a map of where we can begin growing our emotional skills. 

 

 

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ENGAGING WITH ENJOYABLE EMOTIONS
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TO BEGIN, let’s focus on emotions that most of us tend to enjoy feeling.  

 

Look through the different emotions below and write down the names of those you have experienced. 

 

I LOVE FEELING….

 

GRATEFUL  JOYOUS  OPTIMISTIC  CONTENT  SERENE DELIGHTED   COMPASSIONATE   APPRECIATIVE     CHEERFUL    CONNECTED    HOPEFUL    TOLERANT      FORGIVING     TRUSTING    WHOLE    ACCEPTING    GENEROUS. HELPFUL   COMPETENT   RESILIENT   CURIOUS    FULFILLED    VALUABLE   LOVEABLE   LOVEABLE    LOVED    LOVING   SUPPORTED    UNDERSTOOD   HEARD    ACCEPTED         

 

Are there emotions among them that you have yet to experience, but would like to?

Write those down as well. 

 

I WOULD LOVE TO FEEL….

 

The point of identifying emotions you would love to feel is that emotional states can be cultivated on purpose— both those already experienced and those to be experienced. Cultivating emotional states is a key skill for expressing sovereignty about how we feel. 

 

The idea with cultivation is not to avoid certain emotion by forcing others in their place. We are not trying to control the flow of life and avoid its changing nature with attempts to create ongoing states of happiness. We are simply being creative with the inner states we experience and are exercising our right to not depend on external circumstances to feel good. Instead we are intentionally refocusing from trying to extract wellbeing, happiness and contentment out of life and rather create it within, and contribute it to life. 

 

Cultivation is a practice which shifts the quality of presence in one state to another; we are vibrationally aligning ourselves with more emotional wellbeing. The vibrational energy of emotions communicates through the whole body as well as the mind, and this makes it particularly influential.

 

It is easiest to see this in our mind’s eye as expanding inside. It helps to tune in over the course of our days and ask simple questions like “How am I feeling?” Or “Is my inner state expansive?” If we notice that it is contracted, we can intentionally see it opening, expanding and filling us with emotional wellbeing. 

 

While we can be happy for no reason, there are also innumerable reasons that lead directly to feeling good. Being kind for no reason is a good example of cultivating these states into being. When we are kind to ourselves and to others, we begin to think, feel and act from a place of wellbeing.

 

IS FEELING HAPPY PART OF MY EMOTIONAL PROFILE? 

 

IN WHAT WAYS?

 

WHEN DO I FEEL HAPPY? 

 

LIST 

 

THE EMOTIONS I LOVE TO FEEL 

 

LIST 

 

THE EMOTIONS I WOULD LOVE TO FEEL 

 

CULTIVATE 

 

FEELING GOOD FOR NO REASON 

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ENGAGING WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS
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A foundational skill that inevitably changes our emotional life for the better is learning to accept and collaborate with the transient nature of our emotions. It is key when engaging constructively with our more difficult emotions. 

The nature of emotions is momentary. It is very common, however, to interfere with their job of briefly delivering messages of concern or celebration. The idea is to instead allow them to move through us, communicate and depart. 

 

When we learn to accept our emotions instead of resisting them, we have gained a formidable life skill. We know that when they rise there will possibly be an inconvenient message for us (difficult emotions) and that we can let them pass rather than react or get hijacked by them, and that the same holds for when they rise as emotions we love (enjoyable emotions.) Neither difficult nor enjoyable emotions are meant to be stationary.

 

Do we allow our emotions to communicate or do we resist and block them?

 

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FEELING AFRAID
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ABOUT FEAR 

 

Fear is much like a travelling companion in life that helps us be aware, focused and able to respond constructively to the environments we encounter. Its essential message for us is to be attentive and to act responsibly. In its natural free-flowing state, fear simply senses what is going on around us.

 

As most of us have experienced, there are also moments when we feel incredibly strong fear due to immediate physical danger. Fortunately we can depend on our natural instinctual reflexes to take action wherever possible in those situations. 

 

Yet many of us feel fearful in so many other ways as well. We are fear-mongered in our cultures and we fear-monger ourselves. Much of it takes place unknowingly—unless we have decided to watch a scary movie or take a terrifying ride at a fun fair.

 

When we haven’t been given the benefit of an emotional education, it is understandable that we might confuse the strong visceral sensations we have associated with feeling afraid in the past with fear itself. These sensations can be stimulated into being by imaginations of the mind, fuelled by repetitious thought, or for that matter, a horror movie. The sensations feel so real viscerally that we believe them to be real. The imaginings of the mind can seriously influence, impact and create how we end up feeling.

 

We are exposed to a great deal of uncertainty as human beings so worrying about things might seem like a good thing to do, even a way of trying to influence or control outcomes. But to worry incessantly creates its own problems.

 

The hamster-wheel of repetitious worrying easily becomes obsessive, and the biochemistry that is generated can in itself become addictive. Fears sourced in the imagination and by constant worrying produce struggle mentalities where one imaginary battlefield with adversity follows another.

 

The side effects of ongoing worrying manifest in our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health and wellbeing. We have not yet realised that it is the job of free-flowing fear to message us on an ongoing basis about how we stay safe, and what actions are best taken, and that all our human faculties are there to inform, help and guide us through the peaks and valleys of life on earth.

 

 

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ENGAGING WITH FEAR 

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Engage by reading the questions below and answering them. We are looking for enough information to help us get to know more about our emotional profile, what we have come to believe about our emotions like fear and how we tend to respond to them.

 

 

Do we have memories of feeling afraid and worried? 

If we felt fears young, were we helped and supported to handle them, or left alone to deal with them?  

What did we learn to do when we were afraid? 

What messages were we given about being afraid? 

Do people spring to mind who worried a lot or were anxious when growing up? 

Can we recognise those ways in ourselves?

 

How do we tend to deal with fearful situations these days? 

Do we feel threatened or anticipate loss in some way? 

If so, where can we feel those sensations in the body? 

Do they call for action or are they effects generated by worrying for example? 

 

Does feeling afraid feature in our emotional make-up? 

If so, does it take up a lot of room? 

Are we afraid often, rarely, sometimes? 

Is it about being afraid of something specific, or something vague? 

Do we question the value of worrying and other fear-mongering? 

What, if any, external influences do we allow to generate fearful sensations in us?  

What and who tend to stimulate them most often?

 

During our explorations it is useful to notice what we wish would be different. 

 

Is there anything we want to address, change or transform? 

Do we want to constructively investigate something we have been afraid of? 

Or reduce the sensations we are feeling right now? 

Do we wish we could safely put an end to the effects that have resulted from trauma, shock or bad memories? 

Do we want to transform anxiety in social settings? 

Would we love to know how to best express our feelings and needs to significant others? 

 

Looking back on our history we might notice that our past fears and worries have not always been accurate. In fact, did any of those challenging events that we worried ourselves sick over ever turn out exactly as we had feared? 

 

From now on, would we prefer to get into the habit of asking ourselves about what is happening emotionally: “Am I afraid of something real or imagined” and act upon the answers accordingly? A rule of thumb when feeling afraid is to ask: What am I called to face? According to author Karla McLaren.

Responding to an emotion—rather than reacting to it as if we are at its mercy—is part and parcel of the process of becoming emotionally skilful. Often it is the emotions of everyday situations that provide the perfect conditions to test and experiment with new ways of relating to our emotions. 

There are tools, techniques and resources to choose from to support our journey to emotional freedom. Sometimes these practices have immediate results, sometimes they take longer, but they steadily liberate us emotionally over time.

 

 

IS FEELING FEAR PART OF MY EMOTIONAL PROFILE? 

 

IN WHAT WAYS?

 

WHEN DO I FEEL FEAR?

 

DO I FEEL FEAR THAT STEMS FROM MY IMAGINATION ? 

 

MY SPECIFIC FEARS ARE…

 

MY VAGUE FEARS SHOW UPP IN THIS WAY…

 

 

MY TYPICAL RESPONSES TO FEAR ARE…

 

 

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